In the great days of the British Empire,a new commanding officer was sent to a South Africa bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic,cucumber sandwiches etc),which protocol decrees,the retiring colonel said,"You must meet my Adjutant,Captain Smithers".
He's my right hand man and is really the strength of this office,his talent is boundless.
Captain Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new C.O.,who was surprised to meet a hunchback,one eyed,toothless,hairless,scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity,a particularly unattractive man,less than 3 feet tall.
"Smithers old man,tell your new C.O.about yourself".
Well,sir, i graduated with honours from Sandhurst,joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after 3 expeditions behind enemy lines.
I' ve represented Great Britain in equestrian events,and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics.
I have researched the history of......At that point,the colonel interrupted, "Yes,yes,never mind that Smithers,he can find all that in your file,tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fuck off"